Online dating or online frustrating???


I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Online dating is dead to me. Scoff if you may, regale me the tales of when I have said this very statement time and time before; but it’s the truth. Here I am, 30, a catch and an established, driven and independent woman who cannot, I repeat cannot, find an adequate male through the likes of the online realm. I am aware this is the case for many of my single female friends due to the lengthy discussions we have, the podcast I give dating advice and feedback on and what I’ve observed in society today. This my friends, is pretty much a travesty because these clueless boys have no idea what they are missing out on.

Admittedly we all know I’ve voiced this radical notion before. I’ve banned myself from online dating for 30 days, I’ve sworn I’ll never stoop to that level of swipe again. But since turning 30, merely a month ago, I’ve found I have even less tolerance for games, inappropriate comments and being led on. So with that in mind, I have decided to officially no longer date on any online platforms. 

I am not someone who has taken the easy road when it comes to dates. I’ve used most platforms, all with positives and negatives and met many lovely people in which I have learnt so much about potential partners from. These people however, have either cut me loose, lied to me or treated me with disrespect so they have been excommunicated from my life. I’m one to be open to dates -online dates, blind dates, 2nd dates, Medjul dates, pitted dates. Just any way of meeting someone new which I always view as an opportunity for something new to evolve, on any level, from friendship to networking to beyond. I’ve used paid apps, like Eharmony, to basically be offered a similar kettle of fish, when all I really hoped was that they would be more serious about intentions and more aware of what it was that they were looking for.

I probably sound picky, high maintenance and as though I hold high standards. Well I agree. I do. The standards I hold are those that should be easy enough to give to others. Respect, kindness, consideration, communication, honesty and care. I treat others with these values and expect the same in return. I don’t know how it’s so hard to offer these attributes. I have been in friendships that have not given these in return. Thus, they have crumbled. And if I get a whiff of any guy not being able to show any one of these, it’s a no go. I cried after an emotional week last night for many reasons but one in particular that struck me was the fact that I just wanted a special someone. I just wanted a hug. Someone I can rely on. Someone that is all mine. Someone that values me. There is no vision of that in sight in the online world.

I’m done with late night texts. I’m done with being treated like my feelings don’t matter. I’m done with CONSTANTLY putting myself out there only to be disheartened by immature boys who are too self absorbed and can’t give me what I want. I know what I want. If that’s scary or intimidating then get out of line. I need someone who can handle me, with all that creativity, intensity and beauty I have to offer. And for someone as proactive about the search as I am, it’s so hard to not be snoozing and continue losing. 

b. xx

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Rhoolarney says:

    who are you? how are you able to hear my EXACT thoughts? I was nodding at the end of each sentence. I get you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lessonsbyb says:

      It’s refreshing to know there are people out there with the same views and struggles. So glad you had an enjoyable read xx

      Liked by 1 person

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