TAKING A STEP BACK TO TAKE CARE OF ME
So I’m currently writing this on a Wednesday morning, post accidentally booking an intermediate Pilates class and surviving, whilst sipping on a strong latte and having my mind blown by the aesthetically pleasing looking porridge I ordered. It’s 11am. And it’s flipping great!
For the past 9 years I have taught in primary schools. I’ve cared for others for 9 years. I’ve put the needs of children and their families before my own for 9 years. I’ve taken on too much for 9 years. Stood up for what I believed in for 9 years and dealt with three very different schools, each with their own demands, flaws and challenges.
This year I moved from a school that was my little family to something new and what I thought would be, exciting. It instantly provided situations I’d never experienced. I felt as thought I was a little orange man on Google Maps, who got picked up, waved in the air in the application process and finally plonked down in a new environment that he didn’t sign up for.
This didn’t fly with me. Someone who implores justice, principles and passion. Someone who ‘cares too much’ and gives her all. So with a devastated and heavy heart I decided to step away from the profession I had built a career upon. For a long time I felt my career was taken away from me. However changing my mindset to one of new chapters and beginnings made me more content with what I know was the best move for me. I love teaching. I love those light bulb moments. Those rapports. Those achievements. But I also love me and I needed to allow myself the opportunity to find a new environment where I felt supported, valued and could grow.
This became one of the most liberating things I ever did. Whilst the decisions were so hard and taxing, they were also quite simple. Leave behind toxicity and open up new doors, or let the poison fester away.
Currently I am on ‘peternity leave.’ Looking after my 8 month old pup, spending time on my side hustles and weekday Pilates.
For those of you who know you need to take a similar path, do everything in your power to make it happen. 6 weeks on, regret is a word that has not left my lips.
b. xx
lessons by B 